It's a sunny Wednesday afternoon. I'm sitting in my dining room, which seconds as an office. The "office" comes out of a drawer, due to the fact that our current home could be considered a "large tiny home." My son may wake any minute. My best friend and her aunt are on their way for a farewell visit, and I decide to begin writing. This has been an ongoing idea, to start this, to write my experiences. The problem was, I had too many experiences. Too many subjects. Too many thoughts. Then it occurred to me, I'm starting a new life. What better time to focus in on what's happening right now? It's all about now.
Hashtag, now is everything.
When I first met Ben and found out his job could eventually mean relocation, it was thrilling, attractive, sexy. The idea of going somewhere new, experiencing all that it brings, was more than I could have expected on a first date. It was an idea though, a fantasy, a 26 year old's idea of living!
Six years later, the opportunity arose. It was still as exciting as it had been while drinking one too many drinks and staring at Ben's perfectly symmetrical face. A new place?! Where?! What kind of houses are there?! Is there a large body of water?! Can I live on it?!? It was, in fact, still a fantasy to me. We played with the idea of a position opening in Michigan. Oh, there was a lake all right! And my little fingers went right for my phone, google searching, to see what those houses looked like and what I may be able to find. I researched the area. I got so filled with manic happiness of what could be! I found the perfect home of course, on a lake.
Weeks passed, we waited. My anticipation and search continued. I nonchalantly mentioned it to some friends, family. You know, to see their reactions. What if we really did this, would it make huge waves? Would it make people so sad? And by people, I mean my Mom. So, when Michigan was no longer an option, I told my Mom in early December, we wouldn't be moving. Both my Mom and I seemed to feel relieved and happy even. Nothing would change. We'd keep going the way we had. We wouldn't have to deal with it. I'd pretend I never even saw that perfect little home on the water.
What I didn't realize at the time was that Ben had been presented with a second opportunity. This one was in Texas.
My initial thought was, Oh no...
Why? Honestly, I'm not so sure? Perhaps it was as simple as the fact that I couldn't quite find a place like St. Clair Shores in Texas.
It didn't really matter what my fears were about. They were bigger than Texas. I'd deal with those later. What mattered was that Ben was going to interview for a dream job and I sure as hell wasn't going to stop him from doing that. At the time, I had no idea, really what this position entailed. I didn't realize why he was so open to going there. I was just supporting him and waiting for the outcome. That's what we do. Hashtag, I love him.